Millie's Great Aunt

Ann Kimberle(Guadagni)Lindner

My sweet Aunt Ann is my mother's youngest sibling and one of Millie's many adoring fans.  I have been so blessed throughout my entire life to have 2 aunts and 1 uncle on my mom's side and 3 aunts and 2 uncles on my dad's side who have all been closely involved in my entire life.  These are the family members that were given full permission to discipline me at their own discretion exactly as they felt my parents would.  Because of this type of relationship, as well as spending tons of time together growing up, are the reasons why I am so close with my extended family.

When my family back home in Wisconsin learned about Millie's illnesses they started an email and phone chain to stay updated on her prenatal condition, they all celebrated endlessly when Millie entered this world breathing and wiggling on her own and they showered us with love when they learned the news of the seriousness of her condition at 1 week old. 

All the while during our time in the hospital and NICUs my aunt Ann was learning of her own serious condition.  Severe back pain lead her to the doctor where testing revealed that she had a very serious, stage 4 cancer diagnosis.  She informed the Guadagni clan but asked that everyone wait to inform the Wiedmeyers as we were dealing with Millie's fatal diagnosis.  Her sweet soul was trying to protect us from more heartbreaking news but we did end up learning the information and immediately began our supportive journey with her as well.

My Aunt Ann is a young mother of two boys, married to the love of her life for close to 30 years!  She has always been a quiet, gentle soul yet she has always been determined and chased her dreams as well.  She is a deep lover of nature and followed her dreams of getting her college degree.  Her and I were in college classes at the same time and we would often chat just like college girlfriends do about tests and studies.  However, she was a young mother going back to school and working 10x harder than I was as a single, young girl out on her own for the first time.  She followed her dreams by taking courses that lead her to Europe to study but meant she would be away from her boys for an extended period.  She often traveled out west to enjoy the peaceful, open landscape.  She made a point of enjoying the land all around her, as well as her joy for animals with her pet dogs and her beautiful horse, India.  Her family has always been so important to her, she has supported me through every single milestone in my life from my catholic sacraments to graduations and even joining the girls for a night out on the town for my bachelorette party!

She loved Millie dearly, even though she never got to meet her in person, and I was lucky enough to spend time with her last summer when Heath and I were home in Wisconsin for vacation.  I brought a huge stack of pictures of Millie for the family members to look through and take as they pleased.  Aunt Ann was so truly in love with my baby girl and took about half the stack home with her :)

 At that time she gifted me a beautiful butterfly wind chime that has three color stones on it, a pink one for Millie and 2 blue ones which Aunt Ann predicted are Millie's brothers.  So far she is right on track!  

Being so far from home makes it extra difficult during times like this since I can't just hop in the car to go spend time with my aunt so I was very grateful for this chance to be together.  She was clearly very sick but she was also fighting very hard against this cancer that did not have a cure.  She was involved in many clinical trials, ones that forced her to travel far from home.  I learned from her priest at her funeral that she was praying for more time and more time is exactly what she got.  We were all so blessed to be able to spend Christmas together even though she was not feeling the best.  It was the first time our entire family has been together for Christmas in probably decades.  It was then that we announced that we were expecting a sibling for Millie and I was so happy to be able to share this joyful news with her.

As gut-wrenching as it has been to see my aunt so sick with such a terrible illness and to watch my mother and relatives care for her with pain in their eyes, I was blessed by Millie to be able to share some of the gifts of God's comfort that I have learned along the way.  Through my epiphany of faith that Millie and her condition brought me I was able to share with my aunt Ann the trust in God that I have been comforted by.  I know she too found this trust in God, had her prayers answered and is in eternal peace.

While I don't wish this terrible illness on anyone my aunt was given the gift of insight, a little glimpse into the limited future that awaited her.  Although majority of her time was spent waging war against cancer she also got to spend valuable time connecting with family, her horse, her work, nature and her God.  She was able to spend her last moments on earth surrounded by the ones she loves dearest.  And in her last week on earth, I wrote her a letter letting her know that Millie would be there to greet her in heaven.  While my aunt is terribly missed here on earth, none more than by her husband and two sons (13 and 15 years old), but it brings me peace to know that my sweet, gentle, loving aunt will be there in heaven to help me mother my daughter until I can get there.

My aunt has always felt that found pennies are a sign from heaven.  While I have never connected to this sign, I had spent many moments speaking to Millie during the week prior to my aunt's passing.  I asked Millie to welcome her and allow her to mother her for me in joyful companionship.  Two nights before my aunt passed I was hanging outside our home tossing frisbee with Coalie while Heath worked on the lawnmower.  It was late and pitch black out but as I went to pick-up the frisbee from the ground there was a penny sitting in the middle of our driveway.  I looked up to the sky where Millie's star is and thanked her for hearing my prayers.