Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

NILMDTS is the charity that has become very near and dear to our hearts after we received their services, not once but twice, during Millie's time here on earth with us.

NILMDTS was developed in honor of Maddux Achilles Haggard born on Feb. 4, 2005, with a condition called myotubular myopathy. It prevented him from breathing, swallowing or moving on his own. On the sixth day of his young life, his parents, Mike and Cheryl Haggard had to make the excruciating decision to take him off life support. Before they did, they called photographer Sandy Puc' to take black and white portraits of them cradling their son. Puc' photographed the couple with Maddux at the hospital before he was removed from life support and after — when he was free from the tubes and the wires that had sustained him.

“That night was the worst night of my life. But when I look at the images, I am not reminded of my worst night. I’m reminded of the beauty and blessings he brought.” Cheryl Haggard, Maddux’s mother and co-founder of NILMDTS

Those tender photographs documenting Maddux’s eternal connection with his parents inspired Cheryl Haggard and Sandy Puc' to begin a nonprofit organization that has provided thousands of families of babies who are stillborn or are at risk of dying as newborns with free professional portraits with their baby.
Sandy and Cheryl founded the organization in April 2005 and called it Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) after the children’s bedtime prayer.

The legacy of Maddux has gifted our family with some of our most treasured memories of Millie.  We were offered NILMDTS services while we were in the hospital and due to the timing we chose to have the photographer document Millie's baptism which was an incredibly special moment for us in her life.  We were able to have professional photographs captured of Millie during this memorable christian moment with us and her extended family. These beautiful baptismal photos were taken by Stuart Hasson who was such a kind and gentle soul during an incredibly emotional moment in a very small, hot, packed NICU room.  We were so blessed by his presence on this very special day.

Once we brought Millie home we were again offered NILMDTS services to document Millie's time in our home.  Having true newborn style photographs taken of her helped to give us a moment of normalcy in her otherwise atypical existence here on earth.  We were able to capture pictures of her with her stuffed animals, in her crib, with her puppy and cuddled with her parents in her sweetly decorated nursery.  These gorgeous photos in our home were performed by Erin Bankston.  She captured our baby girl so well despite her feeling so sick that day.  Erin kindly and patiently incorporated Coalie.  She posed Millie with her teddy bears and Alabama gear in such sweet ways.  She allowed us to pose in front of Millie's special prayer wall. She is so special to us that we chose her for Bodey's newborn photographs as seen in my previous post.

Both photographers were incredibly respectful of us and our situation but yet kept the moments light-hearted and enjoyable despite the seriousness of why they were there to take our photos.  

We have felt incredibly grateful for the nurses that suggested NILMDTS services to us because not every newborn photographer can handle the gravity of photographing a terminally ill infant (or stillborn infant) which is totally understandable.  The charity NILMDTS is established to provide training for their volunteers to best manage these most sensitive moments in a parents' life that will be treasured for years and years to come.  

NILMDTS organizes a fundraising Remembrance walk event every year in Colorado where they are based out of but this year they have expanded to include walks in Minnesota and Georgia.  We feel so blessed to be able to not only participate in the walk this year but to have the donations from family and friends to contribute to such a meaningful organization. We are so grateful to those of you that have felt love in your hearts for our family and chose to donate in the honor of our sweet daughter.  We would love to have anyone that is interested in joining Team Millie Moo on October 15 at 8 am in Atlanta to celebrate the life of our daughter.  It will be such a special day to see and hear our daughter's name.  It will be extra special to bring her baby brother to an event that honors his big sister.  It will be a rare occasion to feel like our special family of 4.